Truth and Vengeance Watch the NBA Skills Competition...Well Sort of...Part I

So we were both bored on a Saturday night...and this is what transpired...

truth: are you watching the nba all-star game coverage by any chance
vengeance: no
vengeance: just saw sir charles on pti yesterday
truth: okay well there's a whole rant in the mint green suit that charles barkley is wearing
vengeance: oh shit...i love sir charles
vengeance: he is insane
vengeance: but i love him
truth: yeah well i think you might have at least say that his mint green suit is fucked
truth: he looks like giant peppermint patty
vengeance: ok....i'll work on
truth: with most of the chocolate licked off
vengeance: but peppermint patties aren't green
vengeance: nor are their insides
truth: wait no there are ones that are white on the inside
truth: but there are these ones that are like super pepperminty that are green on the inside
vengeance: they are all white on the inside
truth: or maybe they only sell them on holidays or some shit
vengeance: are there...i don't eat those
vengeance: yeah
truth: but they are the bane of my existence
truth: okay...okay one of the banes of my existence
vengeance: i am going to say he looks like a giant bowl of pistachio icecream
vengeance: or pudding
truth: that works
vengeance: yup
truth: i'm gonna look up the word bane to figure out if you can have more than one
vengeance: hmmmm i don't know
truth: okay
truth: definition of bane "the cause of ruin or trouble"
vengeance: ok...maybe you could have a different bane each day
truth: i think that sounds right
truth: so i could say that is the bane of my day
vengeance: or your hour
truth: even better
vengeance: i mean really time is shifting
truth: you are a genius
vengeance: so....you know
truth: oh my god, so i'm watching tonights festivities on tivo delay
truth: good idea
vengeance: yeah and
truth: but they have founds some chick to sing the canadian national anthem and she's the first person i've ever seen who could sing that song off key
vengeance: sweet
truth: it's a reasonable song
vengeance: i love that song
truth: well you would not love this rendition
vengeance: it is beautiful
vengeance: oh no
truth: i want to "stand guard" against her singing it again
vengeance: oh no
vengeance: now i have it in my head
vengeance: i love it
vengeance: we see thee light oh canada, we stand on guard for thee
vengeance: oh canada my home and native land, true patriots hearts
truth: i don't know why but i love that "we stand on guard for thee" part
vengeance: oh canada, oh canada
vengeance: b/c it is about protecting your homeland...not fucking up people for no apparent reason
truth: like i can see a bunch of flip-top heads just standing around going "we're on guard, eh?"
truth: yeah, in truth, i do like that sentiment
vengeance: ok...we might have to post this conversation
truth: whereas our national anthem is all, look bombs rock
vengeance: and we'll fuck your shit up
truth: but dude the funny part is that he was in some prison or something when the bombs were a burstin in air
vengeance: i know....
vengeance: those crazy people
truth: so really it's a song all about getting our ass kicked and the only thing that wasn't getting fucked up was one little piece of cloth
vengeance: and look what his geneology produced...f. scott fitzgerald
vengeance: who was kind of nuts too
vengeance: ok....kind of nuts might be an understatement
truth: well you name a kid francis and i'm telling you, you get a nut every time
truth: maybe a talented nut...see francis sinatra...but a nut
vengeance: true....no one should be named francis....
vengeance: i have a great uncle named francis
truth: is he crazy?
vengeance: although he might be dead
vengeance: i don't know
vengeance: i can
vengeance: i can't tell them apart
truth: dead and crazy?
vengeance: they are all old, tan, and hysterically funny
truth: good thing you aren't a doctor?
truth: oh you mean the great-uncles
vengeance: why would you say that
vengeance: yeah the great uncles
truth: i thought you were saying that you could not discern the difference between dead v. crazy
truth: i just thought it would make it hard to be a doctor
vengeance: if he is alive he is over 90 years old
truth: i mean no disrespect but at 90 you have to be crazy
truth: only crazy people live a long time
vengeance: yeah not being able to tell if people were dead or crazy would be rough
vengeance: dude the clan lives a very, very long time
vengeance: great uncle patricio is over 100
truth: i love you, but that's like clear evidence of a family history of insanity
vengeance: yeah i know
truth: i mean i tell you, long life=crazy
vengeance: great uncle guiseppi was over 100 when he died
vengeance: guiseppi was awesome
vengeance: he was a rum runner
truth: it's like a scientific fact...if you don't believe me, i bet i could get larry summers the pres. of harvard to make a speech supporting this position.
truth: oh rum...that sounds good
vengeance: oh b/c that would clearly be based on fact
truth: maybe not supporting it, but at least "stimulating debate"
vengeance: you know those economists are full of shit
truth: oh no, now i have to listen to kelly clarkson
vengeance: i am sorry
truth: the sad part is that i kind of like that song "since you've been gone"
truth: but it's like she stole a song from pink or someone
vengeance: i don't know this song
truth: oh you may not realize that you know it but you do
truth: if you have a radio and a single working ear there's no way to avoid it
vengeance: i don't listen to the radio
vengeance: only my ipod
truth: it's one of those sing quietly and then scream the chorus songs
vengeance: oh...i see
truth: you are under the impression that one has to "listen" to the radio, but I am convinced bad sounds sneak out of it even when it's "off"
truth: like how cold air can leak through a closed window
vengeance: oh...i can undersand this theory
vengeance: sort of like osmosis