I wish you guys had children so I could...stomp on their testicles

When last we left off the girls had merely established the following people as members of the RochambeaureGuard...Chris Paul, the French (and later perhaps the entire European Union), all Division I NCAA mascots (especially the Duke Blue Devil) and clearly Vengeance and Truth are members.

But there were hours more of tournament basketball and laptops on which to communicate so meet YOUR Smidgen RochambeaureGuard :

Vengeance: oh my god...i have another member of the rochambeauregard
Vengeance: i don't know why it took us so long
Vengeance: he would be their general
Truth: who?!!!
Vengeance: lance armstrong
Truth: oh my god, lance
Vengeance: he is immune to the weapon
Truth: he's the best ever
Vengeance: i know
Vengeance: he would run around in his yellow jersey telling the others how to effectively cause the most discomfort all while being immune to its pain
Vengeance: he would ride around
Vengeance: he could have a big tricycle
Truth: i like
Vengeance: i think it would be more comfortable than his racing bike
Vengeance: that is only for rochambattles
Truth: hey you know how everyone is all up at arms about steroids
Vengeance: no rochambeaux supports steriods
Truth: i would think that rochambeaux is strictly against steroids since it shrinks the nuts and makes them a more difficult target
Vengeance: oh i guess you are right
Vengeance: but then all the mascots have serious problems...b/c they have those huge heads like barry bonds
Vengeance: speaking of barry....you know he has got to be good at rochambeaux
Truth: oh yeah!! he probably kicks kids in the nuts
Vengeance: you know i was just thinking that barry and lance might butt heads
Vengeance: and it would be hysterical...battling for control
Vengeance: always rochambattling but lance always wins b/c he doesn't have any nuts
Truth: plus barry would be trying to hit lance with his big he-man arms while lance rides around in circles on his big tricycle going "i'm gonna soak up the sun...i'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up..lalalalala.." my girlfriend cheryl taught me that song
Vengeance: yes....it would be awesome
Truth: i think sean penn should be in the rochambeauregard
Truth: i mean he's still wound waaaaay too tight
Vengeance: yeah....way too tight
Truth: and he's two seconds from kicking george w in the man melons
Vengeance: you know who else
Vengeance: david wells
Truth: oh yeah definitely
Vengeance: he is a crazy mo fo
Vengeance: nutburglar
Vengeance: i just like to say it
Truth: i know it just makes me think of the devilish gleam in the blue devils eye
Truth: okay you know who is the king of the rochambeauregard?
Vengeance: ahead of general lance
Vengeance: not me
Truth: i mean the absolute monarch and living embodiment of the rochambeaureGOD
Vengeance: no
Truth: bobby knight
Vengeance: oh shit...and you know what is funny
Vengeance: is that i was about to write coach k, b/c he would provide the charminy cushiness after the action
Vengeance: and he would get a cut of the action
Vengeance: but it makes more sense that his mentor would be the rochambeaurGOD
Vengeance: i told you comedy
Truth: didn't mike tyson or latrell sprewell kick some old dude in the manly naughty bits
Truth: like a total civilian that they got into with after a auto accident
Vengeance: well probably both, but i don't know sounds like latrell
Vengeance: mike only likes to harass the ladies and eat babies
Vengeance: but i think they should both be in the rochambeauregard
Vengeance: so i think there are two divisions of the guard
Vengeance: one human and one mascot-the mascot one is the super spy rochambeaureguard
Truth: so remember mike is famous for saying "I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles" now if that's not the motto of the rochambeauregard i don't know what is
Vengeance: no i missed that
Vengeance: yeah it pretty much is
Truth: he said it at a press conference when he was trying to explain how much pain he is in because the press portrays him as a monster
Vengeance: god you've got to love iron mike
Vengeance: pure comedy
Vengeance: he is bobby's court jester
Truth: During a press conference, boxer Mike Tyson tells reporters: "I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day."
Vengeance: no he didn't
Truth: yes in 2002
Vengeance: how that is so the motto
Truth: well we have found a motto
Truth: okay but here was what i was searching

31 Aug 1998 Mike Tyson's Mercedes is rear-ended in Gaithersburg, Maryland. According to subsequent lawsuits, Tyson kicked one driver in the groin and punched another in the face before being restrained by his own bodyguards.

Vengeance: wow...he is so a rochambeaureguard
.........

Truth: i think this is the worst/best tourney in years
Vengeance: there is a ton of parity which makes it fun to watch but difficult if you bet on it
Truth: i mean anything could happen booby mcnutkicker could stop yelling at his players
Vengeance: oh my god that is the best name ever
Truth: bobby knight brings that out in me
Vengeance: holy shit...oh my god...that is his official name now
........
Vengeance: do you know who could join the rochambeaureguards
Truth: who?
Vengeance: AI (Allen Iverson) but i bet he uses a glock instead of a foot
Truth: you are correct ma'am
Vengeance: it would be awesome
Vengeance: oh my god, i have another great rochambeaureguard
Truth: who?
Vengeance: it is a somewhat old school bball reference
Vengeance: are you ready
Truth: ready i think
Vengeance: christian laettner
Truth: holy shit, yes
Vengeance: he stomped that dude when he was down on the floor
Truth: oh no... now i have to watch dickie v run some lady out of a car dealership
Truth: somebody give him a crack rock and a squeegee, because he is seriously a crackhead
Vengeance: oh shit
.........
Vengeance: so the ultimate enemy of the rochambeaureguards...can you guess?
Truth: saul smith...he's a girl
Vengeance: nope...it is someone who's nut region is far more dangerous
Truth: michael jackson
Vengeance: his is just striped
Truth: wilt chamberlain
Vengeance: no his were just diseased
Truth: okay i give

[Believe it or not deleted for being too inappropriate for our blog]

Truth: i have a present for you
Vengeance: that was awesome but it would have been better if you could kick someone in the nuts

Vengeance: i think latrell is the offical camera man of all of our adventures
Vengeance: i don't know why but i think that is funny and AI would be his body guard
Truth: but they wouldn't show up half the time, because AI would be all like "is this a real thing or is this just practice, because you know how i feel about practice..practice man...practice...i'm supposed to be the franchise and we are here talking about practice"....ad nauseum
Vengeance: who is it that wasn't making enough to feed his family? was that rasheed? b/c he would be fun too
Vengeance: was it latrell or rasheed (wallace) that got into the fight on his yacht
Truth: i think that was rasheed
Vengeance: on the family or the yacht or both b/c he might have to join
Vengeance: and that would be funny shit
Truth: i believe both making his unintentional hilarity quotient 100000000000000
Vengeance: oh rasheed has just joined the rochambeaureguards

TRUTH CHECK: Turns out that Rasheed Wallace did not make the claim that he didn't make enough to feed his family nor was he the one getting in off-season brawls on his yacht. But, it does turn out that the same person did both...did you guess Latrell Sprewell? And yes, just so it's official Latrell Sprewell does have the highest unintentional hilarity quotient of anyone on earth. I mean he's also a man who said, "I wasn't choking PJ that hard...he could breathe" or some such...Nevertheless, I maintain that Rasheed Wallace is entitled to be in the Rochambeaureguard.

Vengeance: i think they (the Rochambeaureguard) are our version of the girl's bike club
Truth: if Rasheed Wallace is in then you have to include ron artest
Vengeance: oh hell yeah...big on ron...and then he can work on their albums
Truth: i mean he rochambeaux'd a monitor
Truth: dude and he's such a little byotch...he probably has to do everyone else's braids
Vengeance: even boobies
Truth: definitely because i would testify under oath that mcnutkicker has his pubes in cornrows
Truth: latrell's all tighten up my cornrows or i'll choke you
Vengeance: i am crying
........
Vengeance: you know who we forgot and i can't believe we did
Truth: do tell
Vengeance: sir charles
Truth: oh my god, yes, yes and yes again
Vengeance: and you know who he is after
Vengeance: and i mean besides anyone with a donut or some ribs
Truth: ernie (johnson)
Vengeance: no he loves ernie
Vengeance: that lameass (chris andersen) from the dunk contest
Truth: oh yeah and that guy is #1 on the "people that need to be kicked in the globes" list
Vengeance: i think most people on the hockey head list are also on that list
Vengeance: you amaze me with your list of slang for testes
Truth: hey i spend alot of time thinking about testes
Truth: you know we don't have any women in the rochambeaureguard...and i'd like to nominate the First Lady...Mrs. Doug Christie
Vengeance: so you know who is first on mrs doug christie's list
Vengeance: you know besides doug
Truth: ummm..rick fox
Vengeance: rick fox...she is hunting his nuts down
Vengeance: damn...so on the same wave length
Truth: he definitely could be a hockey head if only he was important
Vengeance: who might need to go on the hockey head
Vengeance: damn it...it is getting scary
Truth: i know get out of my head you lil nutburglar
Vengeance: no...i live there it is my home part of my muppet queen powers
Vengeance: did he get a divorce from vanessa?
Truth: yup, she was like, i am not a lesbian rick no matter what you saw in playboy and plus you are a girl so i don't think this marriage is legal
Vengeance: oh shit....good for her... she was way too good for him
Truth: you know rick may be immune to rochambeaux because i think he might smooth down there like a ken doll
Vengeance: oh you might be right
Vengeance: and if she really thought he was hot she could get with salim stoudamire
Vengeance: b/c he looks just like him
Truth: and salim probably has testes
Vengeance: well then it would be a step up for her
......
Vengeance: i can't believe we forgot the original...cartman
Truth: oh my god, we must send a letter of apology
Vengeance: and you know who else from that episode...robert smith of the cure
Vengeance: b/c he gets cartman in the end and i respect him for that
Truth: but cartman is just a kid so in fairness he'd be in the little league
Vengeance: maybe we should send robert smith out with iron mike b/c they both like to hurt little kids
Truth: but cartman is on the bubble because he let ben assfleck spooge in his hand
Vengeance: oh shit you are right...i had forgotten about that
Truth: if there was anybody deserving of a good old fashioned rochambeauxing it would be the assfleck
Vengeance: no shit but you know who should do it
Truth: matt damon
Vengeance: exactly
Truth: yeah, but he's in for a kick to the nuts himself for deciding to defend larry summers
Vengeance: i didn't know the damon did that... retardo
Truth: i mean dude you dropped out of harvard and were last seen playing the world's dumbest con man...so shut the hell up
Vengeance: retardo...lame ass
Vengeance : maybe they could rochambeaux each other in a tryout and kill each other while trying to impress booby b/c i am pretty sure you can only get in by audition
Truth: unless you have actually already kicked somebody in the nuts in real life
Vengeance: and we can document it
Vengeance: like iron mike, sir charles, chris paul
Vengeance: cartman although questionable
Vengeance: robert smith
Truth: i have another candidate for someone who can't quite qualify to be a hockey head, but definitely deserves a swift kick
Truth: shawn kemp
Vengeance: oh yeah...definitely
Truth: consider it birth control
Vengeance: no shit...um you know who wants to join....
Vengeance: and will increase the hotness of the rgs colin ferrell he loves to scrap and fucking russell crowe
Vengeance : how did we forget russell he goes fighting around the world...i learned that on southpark too
Truth: those guys will kick animals in the nuts...i mean they don't care
Vengeance: they so don't care
Vengeance: booby is all like please join you'll add some cool accents to the rgs
Truth: he's like i've tried to kick gerbils in the nuts but i couldn't find the little fuckers
Vengeance: no one kicks gerbils in the nuts...we love the gerbils
Vengeance: and they go way too fast
Truth: okay i was just trying to think of something that was small and had testes
Truth: and russell's all "looky mate you don't go looking for the fucking globes on a mouse you just fucking kick all out and figure you probably get some sack"
Vengeance: oh shit you are right... i think russell would try to kick a humming birds ass
Truth: i agree... either that or he'd get em drunk and talk to them and let them be in his band
Truth: one or the other...each equally likely
Vengeance: all true