Not Quite the Woman I'd Like to Be

Today is my husband's birthday. I am a bit sad because this is the first time in the 12 years that we've been a couple that I've missed his birthday and I guess in fairness I'm not really missing it today since I've already spoken to him twice. But I am feeling a bit lame.

Anyway, missing his birthday is not the reason that I am not feeling like the woman I'd like to be. The reason is that it just occurred to me that I really track my age more by his birthdays than my own. I guess it might be somewhat reasonable since there is only a nine month difference so really his age and my age are not so very far apart. And I guess that when it's one of those milestone birthdays the appearance of his always makes me think about how close I am to meeting my own age-related goals. Let's just say that I am not doing well with my goals for 30 and I don't have enough time to meet them all.

So maybe I'll spend a bit of time thinking about whether reasonable, mature, human beings need to set goals to reach by particular birthdays or whether that was a line of reasoning designed in the 1980s to sell self-help materials.

One liberal on the Rights to Live and Die

I do not think that people with severe disabilities should be denied medical care. I hope that we all receive extraordinary medical care when we need it. But, I think it is too easy to say that is the beginning and the end of Terri Schiavo's case.

I am not pro-death, when people die it usually sucks. I must admit that I tend to be quite cavalier with the lives of anything that is smaller than 5 inches long. So while I am in favor of life, I am not in favor of life without any question of its quality.

I understand that in saying so I am setting up a difficult situation. What is an acceptable quality of life for me may not be the same for someone else. I can understand that some people choose to bring prenancies to term even when they know they cannot afford to feed the resulting child. But, for me, I would not choose that quality of life for myself as a mother nor a child.

In terms of issues of disability and quality of life, I believe that I could handle not being able to see with my eyes, hear with my ears or move my extremities, but if I were left with no way to communicate with others* I would prefer not to continue living. It would just be pure torture for me.

So I'm just trying to think through what the decision rules that are guiding my feelings about the Terri Schiavo case and how I think others like it ought to be resolved.

1. Does Terri Schiavo want to continue living?

This is the most important question for me.Whether you believe in God or you do not, whether you think the State should help people make good choices or you think the State incapable of doing so...I do not understand how people come to a decision that they can force someone else to stay alive when that person does not want to be alive.

I grew up in the Midwest/South where we went to church most every Sunday (sometimes twice on the same sunday) and frequently on Tuesdays (bible study) and Thursdays (prayer meeting) and sometimes on other days of the week if we were in the choir, on the usher board, etc. So I've thought a bit about God in my time. And the nice thing about our particular brand of Protestantism (and for most people in America) is the belief that one's relationship is individual and God has invested us with free-will. So, in fact, if you choose to end your life and that turns out to be a sin that sends you to hell for eternity, well, I can try to explain to you the consequences, I can try to help you make a different choice by making staying alive more appealing but in the end it is your call.

So, I am always at a loss when people go beyond simply making Christian appeals to others to the point of trying to use force on these same individuals. If you want to force people to do something because it is the law then go for it. But, if you want to say that something has to be the law because GOD said so then choke on it. The more strongly you believe in God the more ridiculous it seems to me for you to argue that God needs your help to run the planet. I think he's got some decent work experience.

Unfortunately, it appears that Terri cannot communicate either through spoken lanuage, written word or some system of signs how she would currently answer that question of whether she wants to be alive or how she thinks God will judge her for her decision.

2. Since Terri does not seem able to tell us and she has left no independent statement of her wishes, who should be able to speak for her?

It seems that alot of people think that in a situation like this one's family should be allowed to speak for us. And I generally agree, even though I know that this is based on two faulty assumptions.

One it assumes that a family is a monlithic entity, when in fact, within a single family there can be very different opinions. One of the cliches of history is that the Civil War "set brother against brother" and surely I cannot be the only person who has witnessed fights over funeral arrangments or where to educate offspring.

Second, it assumes that all families are the same loving, trusting, open communicative relations that are for the most part the American ideal. Truthfully, however, we sometimes avoid talking to the people we love the most about our life and death choices because we do not want to upset them, we want to upset them or it just never occurs to us to have that kind of conversation in our family. Sometimes we are even related to people that we do not love or at the very least that we do not like very much.

As a result of the faulty assumption there is no doubt that there will be many messy situations like the Schiavo case. Therefore, I think it makes sense to create some hierarchy of familial relations (i.e. spouse trumps parents, parents trump siblings, etc.). But, this hierarchy is not without issues, should mom have more power than dad, should twins have more say than parents, etc?

3. But let's say we get the hierarchy in place, aren't their conditions where we might think that the person inhabiting the top position in the hierarchy really shouldn't get to make the call?

I think the answer to that is yes. For example, if the person is in the midst of a psychotic episode maybe we don't have to let them make the call. But, who will decide when that person is no longer in a position to make said decision. The answer is the social institutions we have put in place to protect our citizens. For example, we could have a hearing that shows that your spouse has wanted to kill you for a while and that your state of incapacitation gives them the perfect opening.

I do not think that the fact that Michael Schiavo has started a family with another person means that he is no longer Terri's husband. First of all, people cheat on one another all the time and that doesn't mean that stop being married or even stop loving one another. Second, as my mother explained to me when my younger brother was born, you can love more than one person (with your whole heart, even) at a time. Or as I like to say state, love is not a zero-sum game. Finally, even if he no longer thinks that his wife is alive in any meaningful way it doesn't mean that he can just let people do whatever they want with her body. If there were a common way of thinking in our society then organ donors would be easy to find and you wouldn't be bothered if you heard that someone was digging up grandma and having a good old time with her body.

4. What about starving to death? I mean even if she can't consistenly respond to pain or whatever, what if she feels the pain of starvation at some point does not that seem cruel?

Heck yes, I mean I act like a baby if I don't eat a decent meal in a 24 hour period so come on I don't want people to starve. Therefore, I advocate giving her a lethal injection that ends her life.

Oh yeah, there I said it, euthanasia, if we were better about providing it to people in the first place then we wouldn't have to go through horrific spectacles like watching someone waste away from dehydration or starvation. The same logic that says that if we think women have a right to choose whether or not to be mothers, that abortion is an acceptable tool in this decision and that such a right cannot be said to exist when abortions are expensive, clinics are hard to access (either because they are far away or because nutballs are blocking the doors) , or your doctor keeps getting killed leads me to say that if people have a right to choose death because life is too painful or serves no purpose for the individual experiencing it then they have a right to choose a death that is the most painful option and when possible gives them the greatest sense of purpose.

5. So what are my guiding principles...
a. My body, by choice
b. Human life is about human interactions

* I am okay with the idea that I might have to communicate using assistive technologies or sign language, but if I could not use any then I would not want to be alive.

Please Allow me to Introduce Myself

My name is Truth Smidgen...well actually see that's not my name, but it'll do for now.

For a while now, we've been amazingly lighthearted in our blogging entries here at Smidgen of Truth and that's been a good thing. But, I started this blog to also have some place to state the not so lighthearted things I think about the world. I am not writing about them because I need feedback from others, but mostly because I need some place to remember what I have thought at some moments so I can realize when I have either a) become a hypocrite or b) changed my mind.

In an effort at full disclosure, I consider myself a feminist, a political sociologist and I study social inequality especially as it relates to race, class, gender, disability status, social movements and social policies. In case it matters, I am also a Ph.D. candidate, a sociology professor and a heterosexual, married woman of color.

As my previous post should demonstrate I'm incredibly silly, foul-of-mouth and generally willing to say the most ludicrous things (including things I do not believe and would be too cowardly to act upon if I did believe them) just to get my friends to laugh.

I am politically-speaking generally regarded as highly liberal almost to the point of ridiculousness. The most common refrains from the uninitiated are "You must be kidding" and "You can't possibly believe that." But, no, I'm not kidding and yes, I truly believe what I am saying. Having embraced a willingness to be unpopular in my thinking I've also had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes I will be wrong. And even more often, I will be right for the wrong reasons or without reason.

So what kind of proof can I offer to support my claims of crazy liberalness?

I think that racism is pandemic in America and that we are not nearly as far along in solving the race problem as most Americans would like to think. Therefore, I think affirmative action is problematic but desirable.

I think that gay people should be allowed to get married, adopt children, teach schools, serve in the military and should never be asked not to talk about being gay.

Here's where I really jump off the deep-end, I love the idea of American-style democracy, where everyone gets a voice and government is not some far off abstract concept but a result of the beliefs and ideas of the people. But I am also troubled by it. When you are a person who frequently find yourself in the minority you come to understand how this type of democracy sometimes omits any incentives for compromise.

I do not think that people should be forced to give cochlear implants to their deaf children and I do not think it is child abuse when they do not. I think that there is almost nothing that you or I can do that a person with a disability should not be able to do.

And to make it abundantly clear that I one of the crazy liberals, I do not care how much it costs to make things accessible, if you can't afford to build your restaurant AND make it accessible then as far as I'm concerned you can't afford to build a restaurant. I see this in the same way that I see that if you can't afford to build a building with smoke detectors and fire extinguishers then you can't afford to build the building at all.

I think a democracy where people with disabilities are denied the right to vote because polling places are not wheelchair accessible or ballots are not readily available in Braille is a democracy that should be ashamed of itself.

And just to make it clear that I am willing to offend people who might otherwise agree with my positions, I think it is sexist when women won't go to a male gynecologist. I've heard all the "I'm just more comfortable with a woman" and "she can understand my body better crap" and I still say then just say you are a sexist and move on with it. Because in the end you are using your power as a consumer of medical care to close off opportunities to people from one gender. And that my friend is one aspect of sexism in a nutshell. So, cool enjoy and say "hi, fellow traveler" to the person who says that they just prefer to fly on planes piloted by men, because you know they are just "more comfortable with a man" and "men just seem to be able to deal with high pressure situations better than women."

So while this in no way exhausts my variety of ways that I am a crazy liberal, here's a sampling.

I don't suggest taking your kid

here even after we stomp on his testicles. I mean my goodness the kid has been through enough without going to a pediatric center that specializes in naughty touches.

Where in the world is Coach K?

Apparently, he's buying himself a convertible on his American Express.

Thanks Tim Keown. It's nice to know that someone else has noticed that Coach K was cropping up everywhere during the first two rounds of the tournament.

Of course lately there has been alot of conversation over the relative merits of coaches. I am obsessed with the way that Pat Summitt's win record that now places her ahead of the Great Dean Smith* has been treated in sports media in the last few days. The basic argument is that Pat Summitt has coached during a period when there were few decent women's teams and thus her wins are not equivalent to the wins of Dean Smith or Coach starts with a K has few vowels and only two of his players can spell it. Thanks to one of my favorite sportswriters King Kaufman of salon.com for giving a brilliant** response to that argument. Take that sexist sports world just deal, chicks rule!!!

One of things that bothers me is how the strength of a coach seems all too often to be judged only in terms of wins and losses. But, for me there's something else and no it's not that warm and fuzzy "does the coach make her/his players better people" 'scuse me but if you suck by the time you are twenty some geezer with a basketball and a whistle isn't going to turn it around even if you do stick around to become a super senior.

Here's my question...is it a sign that Coach K is a great coach or that he has a serious area of weakness in terms of developing players that some of his best players have been horribly disappointing professional players....did somebody say Bobby Hurley...that's not nice...Christian Laettner likes to be the first one mentioned in these conversations. Or maybe he's just such a great coach that he gets the very best out of players who lack the ability to self-motivate. I do not know the answer and these are certainly not the only choices. (And before you even ask, no Vengeance, I don't want to rochambeaux over it). However, I would prefer that sports writers facilitate these sorts of debates rather than disparaging women's basketball.

--And that's my TRUTH

*Apparently one is required to place the honorific "great" before the name of Dean Smith since it feels like every single article that mentions his name has done so.

**I can no longer use that word without thinking of the Guiness ad. I'm sure however that my father would like to dispute the following statement, "Not drinking six beer at the same time...brillant!" Of course, it would be a spirited debate especially AFTER he drank that sixth beer.

I wish you guys had children so I could...stomp on their testicles

When last we left off the girls had merely established the following people as members of the RochambeaureGuard...Chris Paul, the French (and later perhaps the entire European Union), all Division I NCAA mascots (especially the Duke Blue Devil) and clearly Vengeance and Truth are members.

But there were hours more of tournament basketball and laptops on which to communicate so meet YOUR Smidgen RochambeaureGuard :

Vengeance: oh my god...i have another member of the rochambeauregard
Vengeance: i don't know why it took us so long
Vengeance: he would be their general
Truth: who?!!!
Vengeance: lance armstrong
Truth: oh my god, lance
Vengeance: he is immune to the weapon
Truth: he's the best ever
Vengeance: i know
Vengeance: he would run around in his yellow jersey telling the others how to effectively cause the most discomfort all while being immune to its pain
Vengeance: he would ride around
Vengeance: he could have a big tricycle
Truth: i like
Vengeance: i think it would be more comfortable than his racing bike
Vengeance: that is only for rochambattles
Truth: hey you know how everyone is all up at arms about steroids
Vengeance: no rochambeaux supports steriods
Truth: i would think that rochambeaux is strictly against steroids since it shrinks the nuts and makes them a more difficult target
Vengeance: oh i guess you are right
Vengeance: but then all the mascots have serious problems...b/c they have those huge heads like barry bonds
Vengeance: speaking of barry....you know he has got to be good at rochambeaux
Truth: oh yeah!! he probably kicks kids in the nuts
Vengeance: you know i was just thinking that barry and lance might butt heads
Vengeance: and it would be hysterical...battling for control
Vengeance: always rochambattling but lance always wins b/c he doesn't have any nuts
Truth: plus barry would be trying to hit lance with his big he-man arms while lance rides around in circles on his big tricycle going "i'm gonna soak up the sun...i'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up..lalalalala.." my girlfriend cheryl taught me that song
Vengeance: yes....it would be awesome
Truth: i think sean penn should be in the rochambeauregard
Truth: i mean he's still wound waaaaay too tight
Vengeance: yeah....way too tight
Truth: and he's two seconds from kicking george w in the man melons
Vengeance: you know who else
Vengeance: david wells
Truth: oh yeah definitely
Vengeance: he is a crazy mo fo
Vengeance: nutburglar
Vengeance: i just like to say it
Truth: i know it just makes me think of the devilish gleam in the blue devils eye
Truth: okay you know who is the king of the rochambeauregard?
Vengeance: ahead of general lance
Vengeance: not me
Truth: i mean the absolute monarch and living embodiment of the rochambeaureGOD
Vengeance: no
Truth: bobby knight
Vengeance: oh shit...and you know what is funny
Vengeance: is that i was about to write coach k, b/c he would provide the charminy cushiness after the action
Vengeance: and he would get a cut of the action
Vengeance: but it makes more sense that his mentor would be the rochambeaurGOD
Vengeance: i told you comedy
Truth: didn't mike tyson or latrell sprewell kick some old dude in the manly naughty bits
Truth: like a total civilian that they got into with after a auto accident
Vengeance: well probably both, but i don't know sounds like latrell
Vengeance: mike only likes to harass the ladies and eat babies
Vengeance: but i think they should both be in the rochambeauregard
Vengeance: so i think there are two divisions of the guard
Vengeance: one human and one mascot-the mascot one is the super spy rochambeaureguard
Truth: so remember mike is famous for saying "I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles" now if that's not the motto of the rochambeauregard i don't know what is
Vengeance: no i missed that
Vengeance: yeah it pretty much is
Truth: he said it at a press conference when he was trying to explain how much pain he is in because the press portrays him as a monster
Vengeance: god you've got to love iron mike
Vengeance: pure comedy
Vengeance: he is bobby's court jester
Truth: During a press conference, boxer Mike Tyson tells reporters: "I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day."
Vengeance: no he didn't
Truth: yes in 2002
Vengeance: how that is so the motto
Truth: well we have found a motto
Truth: okay but here was what i was searching

31 Aug 1998 Mike Tyson's Mercedes is rear-ended in Gaithersburg, Maryland. According to subsequent lawsuits, Tyson kicked one driver in the groin and punched another in the face before being restrained by his own bodyguards.

Vengeance: wow...he is so a rochambeaureguard
.........

Truth: i think this is the worst/best tourney in years
Vengeance: there is a ton of parity which makes it fun to watch but difficult if you bet on it
Truth: i mean anything could happen booby mcnutkicker could stop yelling at his players
Vengeance: oh my god that is the best name ever
Truth: bobby knight brings that out in me
Vengeance: holy shit...oh my god...that is his official name now
........
Vengeance: do you know who could join the rochambeaureguards
Truth: who?
Vengeance: AI (Allen Iverson) but i bet he uses a glock instead of a foot
Truth: you are correct ma'am
Vengeance: it would be awesome
Vengeance: oh my god, i have another great rochambeaureguard
Truth: who?
Vengeance: it is a somewhat old school bball reference
Vengeance: are you ready
Truth: ready i think
Vengeance: christian laettner
Truth: holy shit, yes
Vengeance: he stomped that dude when he was down on the floor
Truth: oh no... now i have to watch dickie v run some lady out of a car dealership
Truth: somebody give him a crack rock and a squeegee, because he is seriously a crackhead
Vengeance: oh shit
.........
Vengeance: so the ultimate enemy of the rochambeaureguards...can you guess?
Truth: saul smith...he's a girl
Vengeance: nope...it is someone who's nut region is far more dangerous
Truth: michael jackson
Vengeance: his is just striped
Truth: wilt chamberlain
Vengeance: no his were just diseased
Truth: okay i give

[Believe it or not deleted for being too inappropriate for our blog]

Truth: i have a present for you
Vengeance: that was awesome but it would have been better if you could kick someone in the nuts

Vengeance: i think latrell is the offical camera man of all of our adventures
Vengeance: i don't know why but i think that is funny and AI would be his body guard
Truth: but they wouldn't show up half the time, because AI would be all like "is this a real thing or is this just practice, because you know how i feel about practice..practice man...practice...i'm supposed to be the franchise and we are here talking about practice"....ad nauseum
Vengeance: who is it that wasn't making enough to feed his family? was that rasheed? b/c he would be fun too
Vengeance: was it latrell or rasheed (wallace) that got into the fight on his yacht
Truth: i think that was rasheed
Vengeance: on the family or the yacht or both b/c he might have to join
Vengeance: and that would be funny shit
Truth: i believe both making his unintentional hilarity quotient 100000000000000
Vengeance: oh rasheed has just joined the rochambeaureguards

TRUTH CHECK: Turns out that Rasheed Wallace did not make the claim that he didn't make enough to feed his family nor was he the one getting in off-season brawls on his yacht. But, it does turn out that the same person did both...did you guess Latrell Sprewell? And yes, just so it's official Latrell Sprewell does have the highest unintentional hilarity quotient of anyone on earth. I mean he's also a man who said, "I wasn't choking PJ that hard...he could breathe" or some such...Nevertheless, I maintain that Rasheed Wallace is entitled to be in the Rochambeaureguard.

Vengeance: i think they (the Rochambeaureguard) are our version of the girl's bike club
Truth: if Rasheed Wallace is in then you have to include ron artest
Vengeance: oh hell yeah...big on ron...and then he can work on their albums
Truth: i mean he rochambeaux'd a monitor
Truth: dude and he's such a little byotch...he probably has to do everyone else's braids
Vengeance: even boobies
Truth: definitely because i would testify under oath that mcnutkicker has his pubes in cornrows
Truth: latrell's all tighten up my cornrows or i'll choke you
Vengeance: i am crying
........
Vengeance: you know who we forgot and i can't believe we did
Truth: do tell
Vengeance: sir charles
Truth: oh my god, yes, yes and yes again
Vengeance: and you know who he is after
Vengeance: and i mean besides anyone with a donut or some ribs
Truth: ernie (johnson)
Vengeance: no he loves ernie
Vengeance: that lameass (chris andersen) from the dunk contest
Truth: oh yeah and that guy is #1 on the "people that need to be kicked in the globes" list
Vengeance: i think most people on the hockey head list are also on that list
Vengeance: you amaze me with your list of slang for testes
Truth: hey i spend alot of time thinking about testes
Truth: you know we don't have any women in the rochambeaureguard...and i'd like to nominate the First Lady...Mrs. Doug Christie
Vengeance: so you know who is first on mrs doug christie's list
Vengeance: you know besides doug
Truth: ummm..rick fox
Vengeance: rick fox...she is hunting his nuts down
Vengeance: damn...so on the same wave length
Truth: he definitely could be a hockey head if only he was important
Vengeance: who might need to go on the hockey head
Vengeance: damn it...it is getting scary
Truth: i know get out of my head you lil nutburglar
Vengeance: no...i live there it is my home part of my muppet queen powers
Vengeance: did he get a divorce from vanessa?
Truth: yup, she was like, i am not a lesbian rick no matter what you saw in playboy and plus you are a girl so i don't think this marriage is legal
Vengeance: oh shit....good for her... she was way too good for him
Truth: you know rick may be immune to rochambeaux because i think he might smooth down there like a ken doll
Vengeance: oh you might be right
Vengeance: and if she really thought he was hot she could get with salim stoudamire
Vengeance: b/c he looks just like him
Truth: and salim probably has testes
Vengeance: well then it would be a step up for her
......
Vengeance: i can't believe we forgot the original...cartman
Truth: oh my god, we must send a letter of apology
Vengeance: and you know who else from that episode...robert smith of the cure
Vengeance: b/c he gets cartman in the end and i respect him for that
Truth: but cartman is just a kid so in fairness he'd be in the little league
Vengeance: maybe we should send robert smith out with iron mike b/c they both like to hurt little kids
Truth: but cartman is on the bubble because he let ben assfleck spooge in his hand
Vengeance: oh shit you are right...i had forgotten about that
Truth: if there was anybody deserving of a good old fashioned rochambeauxing it would be the assfleck
Vengeance: no shit but you know who should do it
Truth: matt damon
Vengeance: exactly
Truth: yeah, but he's in for a kick to the nuts himself for deciding to defend larry summers
Vengeance: i didn't know the damon did that... retardo
Truth: i mean dude you dropped out of harvard and were last seen playing the world's dumbest con man...so shut the hell up
Vengeance: retardo...lame ass
Vengeance : maybe they could rochambeaux each other in a tryout and kill each other while trying to impress booby b/c i am pretty sure you can only get in by audition
Truth: unless you have actually already kicked somebody in the nuts in real life
Vengeance: and we can document it
Vengeance: like iron mike, sir charles, chris paul
Vengeance: cartman although questionable
Vengeance: robert smith
Truth: i have another candidate for someone who can't quite qualify to be a hockey head, but definitely deserves a swift kick
Truth: shawn kemp
Vengeance: oh yeah...definitely
Truth: consider it birth control
Vengeance: no shit...um you know who wants to join....
Vengeance: and will increase the hotness of the rgs colin ferrell he loves to scrap and fucking russell crowe
Vengeance : how did we forget russell he goes fighting around the world...i learned that on southpark too
Truth: those guys will kick animals in the nuts...i mean they don't care
Vengeance: they so don't care
Vengeance: booby is all like please join you'll add some cool accents to the rgs
Truth: he's like i've tried to kick gerbils in the nuts but i couldn't find the little fuckers
Vengeance: no one kicks gerbils in the nuts...we love the gerbils
Vengeance: and they go way too fast
Truth: okay i was just trying to think of something that was small and had testes
Truth: and russell's all "looky mate you don't go looking for the fucking globes on a mouse you just fucking kick all out and figure you probably get some sack"
Vengeance: oh shit you are right... i think russell would try to kick a humming birds ass
Truth: i agree... either that or he'd get em drunk and talk to them and let them be in his band
Truth: one or the other...each equally likely
Vengeance: all true

A Misdefining of Rochambeaux leads to the RochambeaureGuard

...and spawns the term of endearment "nutburglar"

The nice thing about keeping a blog is now Vengeance and I can keep a record of where some of our weirdest collaborative habits originated...I guarantee that RochamBeauregard is likely to be with us for a very, very long time. So here is how it all started....like so many things it started with a conversation supposedly about basketball

Vengeance: i really want chris paul to get all pissed off and rochambeaux again
Vengeance: then i would just call him beaux
Truth: oh my god if only
Vengeance: b/c he would be french
Truth: oh that's nice, because really i could see the french just using that as their new military strategy
Vengeance: and it would be funny
Vengeance: but since he is in the south he would just be bo
Truth: or Rochambeauregard
Vengeance: that is hysterical
Vengeance: the French would be at EU military integration meetings being like we won't join
Vengeance: unless you implement the rochambeauregard
Truth: hahahaha
Vengeance: and the germans would get out their my lil' fascist kit and kick their butts
Vengeance: and then kick them in the nuts
Truth: and then there'd be the question is this a WMD

................
Truth: what if when a team lost the game one person just went crazy
Truth: and kicked everybody in the nuts
Truth: like the refs, the opposing team, the mascot
Vengeance: that would rock
Vengeance: i would like to see a mascot lose it and go all rochambeaux
Vengeance: perhaps the demon deacon
Truth: i wouldn't mind seeing the blue devil do it either
Truth: with that crazy little mask
Vengeance: yeah that would be funny
Truth: he's already sort of like the hamburgler so then i could call him the nutburglar
Vengeance: oh shit the nutburglar
Vengeance: or you know who would be funny
Vengeance: the st joes eagle, b/c it isn't allowed to stop flapping its wings
Truth: who?
Truth: oh my god that made me spit tea on my laptop
Vengeance: ok this is hysterical
Truth: those flapping wings and just mad nut kickin'
Vengeance: oh yeah baby
Vengeance: can we have a mascot war...they can join the rochambeaureguard
Truth: i was just writing that to you
Truth: i was thinking we could have a pre-tourney competition
Vengeance: the nutburglar
Vengeance: that would be awesome
Vengeance: you know how capital one has a mascot tournament
Vengeance: we could have our own version
Truth: yeah that would be awesome
Vengeance: swimsuit competition and rochambeaux competition
Vengeance: and ever since that utah oregon fight
Vengeance: i am putting some cash on donald
Vengeance: although since he doesn't wear pants it might put him at a disadvantage
Truth: oh my god mascots in swimsuits would be awesome, but i say it has to be all thong
Vengeance: oh yeah baby
Vengeance: but imagine the orangeman in a thong
Vengeance: it is scary
Truth: true enough
Truth: but i'd like to see the stanford tree in a thong
Vengeance: or that wku giant red thing
Truth: and you know the tree would do it
Vengeance: yes that would be crazy and it would be scandalous
Vengeance: i totally want a t-shirt
Vengeance: one with two mascots one kicking the other in the nuts
Truth: we totally need t-shirts

.........
Vengeance: would it be strange if i just started to use nutburglar as a term of endearment
Vengeance: b/c i think it would be rad
Truth: no, i think i would love to be called a lil nutburglar
Vengeance: yup that is your name
Truth: thank you
Vengeance: no prob
Vengeance: it is so awesome
Truth: i would like it used in the following manner, "hey what's up you lil nutburglar"
Vengeance: i am recovering from the laugh that only dogs can hear
Vengeance: oh shit
Vengeance: is it kind of like whippersnapper
Truth: i know a phrase just filled with love
Vengeance: it is....well between us it is a term of pure love
Truth: i like it
Truth: it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside like i've had one of your margaritas

THE ORIGINS OF ROCHAMBEAUX or why Southpark isn't educational television

So last year during the NCAA tournament Truth and I were watching together, and we got into some trivial argument over some useless fact. Which lead me to challenge her to a rochambeaux. I stood up and took fighting position. And Truth is all like "why the hell did you stand up for that." To which I retort, "how else am I going to kick you in the naughty bits."
Hysterical laughter emerges from Truth.....I am a little offended. I am all like, "come on, I could kick your butt." She retorts, "what the hell do you think rochambeaux is?" I say, "so I was watching southpark the other day, and cartman kept asking people if they wanted to rochambeaux for it, and he kicked them in the nuts. And then he asked Robert Smith of the Cure (who Truth and I both love...admit it Truth you love them) if he wants to rochambeaux for something, and Robert Smith kicks him in the nuts....hence rochambeaux must be kicking someone in the nuts." See the Ph.D. logic there...it is totally clear. Well, Truth starts laughing, laughing so hard I think she might need to go to the hospital. When the laughter finally subsides, and I am still confused as to why this is so funny.....she finally says, "rochambeaux is rock, paper, scissors." I am astounded....."why would southpark lie to me like that?....those bastards." This only serves to provoke more laughter from Truth, who then encourages me to mention this to our friend C the next day (he loves testical humour). So the next day Truth and C are over, and I ask C if he wants to rochambeaux for something...what it is I don't remember...maybe Truth does. So he is like cool...I get up and get ready to kick him in the nuts...and he is still sitting there...and I say, "what are you scared of ending up like Lance?" Of course, C loses it, because all you have to do is mention Lance Armstrong and he loves it. But he is like "why would I lose a nut playing rochambeaux." At this point Truth and I lose it and tell him the story...now C wants to rochambeaux everyone. So the lesson kids, if you hear something on southpark, look it up before you assume it is true.

The Hockey Head Squad

Today Vengeance and I were having a discussion about sports while watching men's NCAA basketball. And somehow we started talking about hockey and V. mentioned that hockey is considering using blue ice. To which I replied they should consider figuring out how to have a season. Somehow this led to a discussion of how to improve the ratings for hockey (what can I say we love sports). Anyway, we figured that one thing that would help is if the hockey puck...which many non fans say is too small and fast and thus makes hockey hard to follow...was replaced with the heads of hated individuals, whenever said head should become available. Since the NHL has had difficulty coming up with good ideas, we though we'd suggest who should be part of what we are calling the Hockey Head Squad (name may be subject to revision).

HOCKEY HEAD SQUAD

1. OJ
2. Scott Petersen
3. Kobe Bryant
4. Bud Selig
5. Jose Canseco
6. George W.
7. Dick Cheney
8. Michael Powell (aka Little Powell, aka Daddy's Lil' Fascist, aka I hate the 1st amendment--name inspired by He Hate Me)
9. Tubby Smith (aka Dad to Gigi and a female Prince Impersonator who impersonated a male point guard)
10. Gary Barnett
11. The Walt Disney Corporation (We are under the impression that Uncle Walt's head is available immediately and already frozen for hockey use)
12. Dick Vitale (who we refer to exclusively as Dickie V)

As a note Rick Pitino should by all rights be on this list, but recently he managed to seem amazingly human on an episode of Pardon the Interruption so we decided to give him temporary clemency....but we're watching you Rickie P.

A person I can be proud of...someone willing to don a tigger suit for march madness....ah the beauty of march

basketball update

so...i am bringing a bit of my college ball obsession to this site...you can check my updates on my other blog....

first of all...congrats to my blue devils...who managed to eek it out today....

second, does anyone else think salim staudimire is staring to look like rick fox? it is bizzare.

third, when did digger phelps become a fashion plate...he has been styling all week....damn....

fourth....thank goodness for florida putting that bitch tubby in his place...and by the way...wouldn't you change your nickname from tubby, before you become a nationally recognized coach...I would...but this is a man that refers to his one son as gigi and the other one looks like a mutant clone of Prince....just clearly a freak....

the selection show is coming up in a little more than 2 hours...when I will have to come up with my picks....this year's themes....of course...the mascot all-stars....i think this year it is important to look out of spunky animals....i like bees, badgers, and other sort of cute, but yet could kill you animals. theme number 2...minority coaches...so watch out for GATech, Washington, and yes I do think that having as few as possible vowels in your last name makes you a minority....and finally vengeance has her regular picks....so...we'll see...as usual my mascot picks will probably do better than the rest...sad but true....

ok...over and out for right now...

Watching the NBA Skills Competition Part IV...where the girls talk a bit about basketball, but mostly continue to obsess over Charles Barkley

Okay so, of course, we think we're hilarious and in February we watched the NBA Skills Portion of the All-Star Weekend...well across the country from one another with some assistance of instant messaging.... and well we amused ourselves so much that we decided to post our conversation to the blog. But being new to blogging, we posted the whole thing and then realized that it was way too long.

So, today, I've broken this conversation into multiple parts...and it cracked me up all over again.
--TRUTH

truth: hey why does the goo goo dolls lead singer have sandra's haircut?
vengeance: i don't know
vengeance: maybe sandra has his haircut
truth: what's up with white dudes getting lady haircuts
vengeance: i hate that shit
vengeance: i was at the gym the other day
truth: i do too
vengeance: and there were all these goys...
truth: i mean dude you are not cool with a soccer mom 'do
vengeance: which is what i like to call boys with girl haircuts
truth: why are the ex-presidents on television?
vengeance: b/c they are in charge of tsunami relief
truth: nba fans are young and urban we don't give money to poor people in other places vengeance: they were at the super bowl too
truth: we buy shoes and bling
vengeance: no shit
vengeance: i love bling
truth: yeah but nfl fans are midwesterners who go to church and collect money for starving children in asia
vengeance: charles was talking shit about unc
vengeance: saying this dude's grades were too good to go there
truth: hey just keep in mind where charles went
vengeance: i know
vengeance: but charles doesn't claim to be intelligent
vengeance: he actually claims he is stupid
vengeance: this white dude doesn't need the tats
vengeance: he looks ridiculous
truth: yeah well that's what we thought when black athletes started getting them and now they seem normal
truth: the ridiculous thing is a white dude in the dunk contest
vengeance: no...have you seen this bjorn borg clone?
truth: i haven't really been watching the nba this year
truth: i don't know who this dude is
vengeance: he looks just like bjorn borg
vengeance: god he sucks
vengeance: charles wants candy
truth: i want charles to eat this dude
vengeance: it would be hysterical
truth: or maybe AI could just shoot him or something
vengeance: i think the fat rockets mascot might fight charles to eat that girl…
vengeance: oh i meant guy...but he has a girl hair do
truth: can he just quit trying to dunk now
vengeance: he is done
vengeance: amare
vengeance: yeah
vengeance: amare
vengeance: he at least made it on the first dunk
truth: exactly i now want to marry amare just for that
vengeance: amare is pretty good looking
truth: not bad at all
truth: i knew somewhere in my mind that casey was a hornet but then i just forget
vengeance: oh i can't keep track of these things
truth: well i keep forgetting the hornets are in Nawlins
vengeance: yeah....the charlotte team is the bobcats
vengeance: b/c the owner is a complete narcisist
truth: i forget there's even a team called the bobcats
vengeance: that is where your boyfriend emeka plays
truth: okay i can't concentrate i hate chris andersen
truth: i am going to be the bane of his existence
vengeance: everyone hates chris andersen...i guess he doesn't have too many assists
vengeance: he clearly can't pass
truth: well he can't pass and he dunk so i hope he's a good defensive player
vengeance: dr j is talking shit about anderson
...
vengeance: shit did you see that dunk
vengeance: shaq gave him a standing O
truth: dude that was a fucking 50 for sure
vengeance: no shit
vengeance: that was awesome
truth: and did you see how his teammate didn't flinch
vengeance: god damn it
vengeance: it wasn't his team mate
truth: because i would have fucking flinched
vengeance: just his friend
truth: oh who was it
vengeance: another player
vengeance: they have the same agent
vengeance: and they became friends
truth: oh i see
truth: did chris andersen qualify for the contest through a special olympics process
vengeance: yeah i think so
vengeance: dude steve nash rocks
vengeance: even if he is canadian
truth: i love the soccer influence of the move
vengeance: it was fantastic
vengeance: it was kenyon martin...that he jumped over
truth: dude if amare wins he has to share with steve nash
vengeance: dude the one guy keeps calling dr j, magic johnson
vengeance: totally he has to share with sash...which i just like to call him
truth: wait magic is there too
vengeance: is magic there
vengeance: i haven't seen them
vengeance: or him
truth: yeah, he's not a judge but he's doing some commentary work
truth: but then he was in one of the events
vengeance: oh ok
truth: so i don't know if he changed clothes or he didn't and so they aren't showing him vengeance: then maybe they are talking to him too
vengeance: but i swear they were just talking to dr j
vengeance: and then the guy started talking about magic
truth: yeah he was talking too, but it's confusing because sometimes he sounds like kenny to me vengeance: fuckers
truth: yes, yes they are
vengeance: i like anyone who gets half naked
truth: don't say anyone if charles gets naked we're gonna have a problem
vengeance: well, nicely built men
vengeance: yeah i know
vengeance: charles needs to stay dressed
truth: yeah and i'd be okay if magic kept his clothes on as well
vengeance: yeah
truth: poor amare he ain't gonna win
truth: did charles just threaten to punch kenny in the eye
vengeance: oh i don't know
truth: because hasn't charles had to pay out enought money for punching people in the eye

vengeance: yes...yes he has

Watching the NBA Skills Competition Part III...where the girls discuss basketball, race and then somehow it always comes back to sex with these two

truth: isn't luke ridnour your boyfriend?
vengeance: from oregon right
truth: yup
vengeance: i do have a thing for those oregon boys
vengeance: like joey
truth: well the nba must agree with little luke ridnour because he's looking like a hottie tonight vengeance: really
vengeance: i switched over to nba
truth: i'm watching him in the skills challenge
vengeance: charles is not wearing green
vengeance: it is tan
truth: okay on my tv, it looks like a greenish tan color
vengeance: no...it is tan
truth: well i am in 30 minute delay
vengeance: they are playing stroke it
vengeance: you know that song
truth: i'll give you that that's possible but i was speaking with someone else and we both noted that it looked green on our screens
truth: but that's when they were sitting upstairs
vengeance: hmmm....it must be those silly sony tvs
truth: now he's on the sidelines and it looks regular tan
vengeance: oh...maybe it was the lighting
truth: so maybe there was a weird lighting thing going on upstairs
vengeance: yeah
vengeance: so....do you ever wonder how that white guy they are with has the booming voice he does
truth: okay now i am less upset with charles
vengeance: not steve kerr, the other one
truth: i always wonder where all white announcers get their voices from
truth: oh my god what the hell is up with Shaq’s hat
truth: that hat was fucked
vengeance: yeah i told you
vengeance: when charles i making fun of your shit you know it is fucked up
truth: why won't ernie make fun of the hat too
vengeance: dude ernie wasn't there
vengeance: i haven't seen ernie
truth: what? where did he go?
vengeance: it is some other white dude
truth: he was there in the early part of the program
truth: oh yeah...they left him upstairs
vengeance: ernie doesn't have the cred to be down on the floor
vengeance: they are now making fun of how fat this guy is
vengeance: it is so funny
vengeance: lenard
vengeance: who won last year
vengeance: charles was talking about how they could share underwear
truth: oh my god he actually said that... that's like calling the titanic a small boat
vengeance: is it me or does kyle korver look like ashton krucher
vengeance: yeah i know...it was hysterical
truth: jesus i think they are twins
truth: separated at birth
vengeance: yeah...i just think one of them bleaches or dies his hair
truth: but kyle is definitely the less attractive twin like the mary-kate and ashley situation vengeance: yeah....totally
vengeance: do you think tim duncan looks like an alien...b/c i am pretty convinced he is vengeance: he is one of my favorite guys...but i think he might be from the same planet as shane battier
truth: yeah the planet of racial ambiguity
vengeance: yes....well i know that shane is bi-racial
vengeance: i don't know about tim...but i do know that he is from the caribbean
truth: automatically sets him up for suspicion of racial mixing
vengeance: true
vengeance: race mixing
truth: it has become my favorite term over time
truth: yeah, but i've come to embrace it
vengeance: it caused you much embarassment that one time
truth: korver also looks a bit like hilary swank in profile
vengeance: oh shit...he does
truth: maybe it is hilary swank you know she's quite an actress
vengeance: maybe
vengeance: i mean she did train to be a boxer for that movie
vengeance: and she doesn't have any boobies
truth: yes and she did play a man in the movie that won her her oscar
vengeance: yeah...totally
vengeance: do you think that AI has kyle's back
vengeance: i mean i would feel much better going into a fight with AI on my side
truth: maybe ai's mom will wear a kyle t-shirt once he gets a body of tatoo work
vengeance: and he could mess up your girlfriend if she messed with you
vengeance: i mean he is good at that stuff
truth: maybe ai could also share his posse with kyle
vengeance: that would be awesome if kyle's mom and ai's mom traded jerseys
vengeance: and....ai's mom was all chillin' in a whitey jersey
truth: hey do you see brandy's byotch shooting right now? v
engeance: oh is that who she is dating
vengeance: i thougth she was all married to some record guy
vengeance: and they had a baby
truth: she's engaged to quentin richardson
truth: no they got a divorce, but it terms out they were never really married
vengeance: oh really
vengeance: what does that mean
vengeance: it was all on mtv
truth: yeah the baby part was but not the wedding which apparently never took place
truth: they just said they were married but they never had a ceremony of any sort
vengeance: hmm...interesting
vengeance: didn't she go to the prom with kobe
truth: yup but nothing else every came of that i guess
vengeance: yeah that is what i heard
vengeance: i bet she is glad for that
vengeance: they just showed her
vengeance: i think that kyle korver is the love child of hillary swank and ashton
truth: i believe you are correct
vengeance: it is bizarro
vengeance: do you remember that kyle has like three brothers that all have k names vengeance: you did..he played for creighton that year they caused some trouble in the tourney truth: no are you kidding me
vengeance: no
vengeance: it is kind of like the jacobsens
truth: you mean the abcd boys
vengeance: yeah
vengeance: http://www.nba.com/sixers/player_guide/kyle_korver.html
vengeance: you need to check out the kyle korver page
vengeance: and apparently the nba has already discoverd the similarity to kutcher
vengeance: grant is on
vengeance: so is ray allen
vengeance: is ray allen a punk
truth: hey don't talk shit about ray allen
truth: he's totally cute
vengeance: i was just going to say he is cute
vengeance: but i don't know anything about him
truth: i'd make a love sandwich with him and emeka okafor
vengeance: oh hell yeah
truth: oh my god when ray allen came on tv i thought he was going to start singing
vengeance: don't they have some one better than the goo goo dolls
vengeance: that would have been awesome
truth: dude grant's outfit was nice
truth: i loved the colors
vengeance: grant always looks good
truth: yeah but he should get his ears pinned back
vengeance: the band i saw on thursday is so much better
truth: are the goo goo dolls still famous
truth: what band did you see?
vengeance: i think grants ears are super cute
vengeance: hot, hot, heat
vengeance: it was at an awesome club in the city called pop scene
truth: yeah well i guess it's okay you know what they say about men with big ears
vengeance: they need big hats
truth: hey how'd you know ;)
vengeance: i know all these important things
truth: do you know the phrase "jimmy hat"
vengeance: no
vengeance: explain please truth: it is a 90s maybe late 80s slang for a condom
vengeance: oh...i see
truth: a hat for your jimmy
vengeance: oh...so what i said was even funnier than i thought
truth: i figured you didn't know that so it made what you said really funny
vengeance: sometimes it is good that i am clueless

Watching the NBA Skills Competition Part II...where the girls go from sex to sexual assault to bodily mutilation

vengeance: oh you know i only watch age inappropriate tv
vengeance: for the geriatric or incredibly young
truth: i tend to just watch shows that are a single standard deviation from my actual demographic
vengeance: in fact i have been watching a fairly odd parents marathon
truth: like shows for teenagers
vengeance: yeah i tend to watch at least 2 standard deviations away
truth: see joan of arcadia
vengeance: see...any crime show on cbs
vengeance: spongebob squarepants
truth: or ones for women in their 40s see "what not to wear" or all of TLC for that matter vengeance: well what not to wear is a fantastic show...and i want clinton to be my friend vengeance: he could join my posse of ambiguously sexual male friends
truth: yeah, i really can't figure out if clinton is gay or not
vengeance: you know i love those sorts of men...in fact i like to date them
truth: i think he's one of those straight guys that sort of lets women think he's gay so he can see them naked and stuff
vengeance: totally
vengeance: so you think clinton's a little pervy
truth: well i could definitely see you dating clinton
truth: just a tiny bit
vengeance: or at least self-interested
truth: yeah and he definitely enjoys putting on the women's oversized clothes a bit much
truth: so i don't even know what to do with that
vengeance: i like to refer to those things as self-interest rather than pervy
vengeance: yeah...thyat is always tough
truth: yeah i don't think he'd actually assault anyone or even come close
truth: but i think he'd like get his jollies without letting his partner in on the full scene vengeance: no....but he uses his position as a fashion maven to get what he wants
vengeance: yeah totally t
ruth: see doesn't fashion maven feel like we're just calling him gay vengeance: ok...sorry vengeance: well then what would you call his job
truth: no...no apologies, but i just feel like this is a sign of what we're talking about like we suspect he's straight but it's easy to fall into acting like he's your gay friend
vengeance: you are right truth: let's call him a personal shopper/fashion consultant
vengeance: ok...but i still think he should date me...we would get along so well
truth: i agree
vengeance: and i wouldn't even care if he wore my clothes
truth: but i think i'd get mad that he kept getting free hugo boss clothes from work
truth: he'd have to spend his money buying you designer duds
vengeance: oh true
vengeance: but i would get you stuff
truth: charles just said that kelly clarkson is "no janet jackson"
truth: charles is pervy
vengeance: she is no janet
vengeance: i love charles
vengeance: he just tells it like it is
vengeance: you know he has a new book coming out
vengeance: with wilbon from pti
truth: oh my god, i'm gonna get that book for sure
vengeance: me too
vengeance: i enjoy both of them
truth: but i think he's saying she's no janet jackson because he doesn't get to see her tit
truth: me too
vengeance: oh i doubt it
truth: and i'll get one for my brother, because he LOVES pti
vengeance: you are just trying to make charles a pervert
truth: no... trust me that's exactly what he was insinuating
truth: he is a perv
vengeance: ok....
truth: he's had to pay off women after grabbing their genitals or something
truth: he's a perv
vengeance: well at least he paid them
vengeance: and didn't offer them pudding pops or something
vengeance: i think i am so funny
truth: dude i totally think the coz was all grabbing boobies
truth: after putting ruffies in people's jello pudddding
vengeance: he was so grabbing boobies
vengeance: hahahahahahhaa
vengeance: you make me laugh out loud
truth: i live for that
vengeance: he had great lines...such as....do you want to lick my pudding
pop vengeance: i can just imagine
vengeance: he was wearing one of his ugly ass sweaters
truth: yeah but you'd have to see him do that eye rolling to the back of the head thing he does...at that special time
vengeance: totally
truth: voice of danny on: "well that would make it sexy wouldn't it?"
truth: voice o' Danny: "i hope he was wearing tight jeans as well"
truth: "ladies love that"
vengeance: i love it when you channel danny
vengeance: i wonder why danny chose bill as his role model
truth: hmmm...should i be insulted that dannyhas slipped X into my lunch
vengeance: mmmm....no....i don't think so
vengeance: ok....i think danny would use ruffies
vengeance: sandra would use X
vengeance: you know she likes to touch
truth: good point, yet what does it mean that he's never put any ruffies in my ice tea?
truth: that's true, but the other side is she's a drug addict
vengeance: maybe he did...you wouldn't remember
truth: but sandra would just take all the drugs and then just touch you anyway
vengeance: totally
vengeance: maybe that explains her behavior
truth: okay i have a question...i know the old saying about how you shouldn't cut off your nose to spite your face...but can you cut off your nose to spite your nose?
vengeance: although she hasn't been so touchy lately
truth: because mine is raw and pissing me off
truth: hmmm...maybe she's losing her touch
vengeance: you could do that i suppose...but then you would be all ugly
vengeance: and be all crazy like van gogh
vengeance: but under similar circumstances...his ear was bothering the fuck out of him
truth: that's true
truth: do you think that explains michael jackson's nose?
truth: a very very bad case of allergies
vengeance: that he used too much coke
vengeance: i think that he is just a crazy mother fucker
truth: i have to agree with you there
vengeance: he totally faked being sick this week
truth: and i was reading about the fact that his penis is striped like a "barber's pole"
vengeance: no you were not
truth: yeah-hunh
vengeance: that is the most horrific thing i have ever heard
truth: well that's apparently what happens if you bleach your penis skin when you are not erect vengeance: is that what it said or your theory
truth: half and half
vengeance: oh i see
vengeance: maybe dr t knows
truth: some dude who who used to be an investigator for him said that his penis looked like a barber's pole because of the bleaching treatment
vengeance: oh my god
truth: then i tried to think why would he be able to get even skin color everywhere but his penis vengeance: we don't know it is even everywhere
truth: that has always been my biggest fear
truth: we know he's at least changed colors from the waist up
vengeance: oh my god
vengeance: no...we know his face is white
vengeance: we don't know about much more than that
truth: because he was in that video smashing car windows and grabbing his crotch on top of the car then he ripped off his shirt exposing his white boy/girl chest
vengeance: oh that is right
vengeance: but it could have been cgi'd
truth: dude but somebody would have leaked the undoctored film
truth: so michael's not gonna expose himself in front of a whole crew unless he's whitened up every where they can see
truth: but there is still the possibility that he has a black ass
vengeance: i guess you are right...i was going for a much larger conspiracy theory
vengeance: totally

the fantastic words of john lydon

so i was watching this movie yesterday, 24 hour party...and i was reading up on some of the bands I love from the 70s and 80s, and I came across a couple of quotes by John Lydon...aka Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols or PIL, which ever you prefer.

The first is relevant considering Michael Jackson's current trial....
On Michael Jackson: "I get censored on TV, but you have that thing parading around, waving its crotch at little children. Tell me that's not seriously corrupt."

So I was thinking about it...and he is right...so John swears a lot...so do I....I like to think about it being in touch with my pirate side....but Michael is just a freak...and no one seemed to think it was appropriate to tell Michael to A) stop touching his crotch and shrieking B) stop touching little kids... B I think is more important.....

On anarchism: "anarchy, frankly -- if you take it quite literally -- is mind games for the middle class. When you come from desperate poverty, and that's exactly what I come from, you know that nonsenses are not to be tolerated. I'm not sure who gains from chaos, but I know it's not the poor folks in the council flats. The politics of vindictiveness is never, ever anything like a solution."

You know the only people I have ever met who support anarchy are spoiled upper middle class kids who are just bored (like myself, but I had other things to do, like read), and who don't realize the consequences. This is pretty true about the historical anarchists too....but I suppose I shouldn't get started about that or this post might go on forver.

But I thought I would share with at least truth today's insights from a pop culture figure...although one of my favorites....

Are you ready for some madness?

So it is March, my favorite month of the year. After three great games today, I was disappointed by my alma mater's play in the last minute of the game, losing to our arch rival. But I suppose this is what march is all about. I am fully ready to ditch school on thursday and friday to watch conference tournaments. As this weekend proved, anything can happen in march. So truth get ready...I'll be calling....and I'll probably be tipsy.

DODODODODEEDOOODEEDOOO....DODODO....

I hate comcast

so...I have spent the better part of a week trying to figure out if I was going to get espnu. mostly because i have nothing better to do....and i love watching college sports....but those bastards at comcast are totally pissing me off. they aren't getting espnu, well at least anytime soon. how am i supposed to watch random sports, like say lacrosse, which they don't play on the west coast? this is lame....i think i might get direct tv.....hahahaha....using the power of money.......at least they were nice about it....but still...i am pissy...

Believe it or not I fired my therapist to get a dog

Though it may not be the most recommended choice given my depressed mood...I got rid of my new therapist. It just wasn't working.

I was tired of hearing about her friends, her husband and her view that all things bad in my life could be traced directly to racism. Racism...mind you, that she thought was never going to go away and should make people sad and depressed. To which, I must say, I wondered then how the fuck is thinking about it and paying like $100/hour to do so going to help me avoid the major depressive episode that feels like it is lurking in the corner. I had to get away from the woman and it helped that today she bought her totally sweet 120lb dog to our session and I realized I should just buy a dog. I want a Yorkie but have avoided paying the excessive breeding fees, but it occurred to me that for the cost of a few months of therapy I could get the dog.

Vengeance goes to see Duran Duran

So, one drunk night TK and I decided to buy Duran Duran tickets, you know about a good 20 years after they were really popular...but we figured, what the fuck. Well, I have to say it was one of the most amusing shows I have ever been to. First of all, there were the fans. There were some of us (TK and myself) who had clearly grown with the times, and looked liked well-adjusted adult types. Then there were the throw backs....wow...they were impressive. There were pegged pants, bad perms, puffy shirts, leggings (there were even a neon pink pair) oh and don't let me forget the side pony-tails. Although I was unclear if these people had just dressed up like this for the concert, or if San Jose is always like this. I don't go there very often. All I am saying, is either way, these people must be prohibited from procreating....

But let's get to the real excitement....I had a huge, huge, huge crush on Simon Le Bon when I was about 8. I used to play Rio on my walkman, over and over and just think about Simon. So now 20 years later, I have to admit...the man is still hot. Sure, I feel a little skeezy admitting that an almost 50 year old man is hot....but he could shake his bon bon. Another reason for my kinship to Mr. Le Bon, he has the same problem that I do....the constant need to pull up his pants. I mean you wouldn't want to moon people on stage....actually I wouldn't have minded to much. Poor TK, she had the hots for Rodger Taylor, the drummer for those of you not in the Duran Duran circle, but when she was screaming for him, a gentleman behind us kindly informed us, that Rodger was his. For some reason this cracked us up. I think it was actually the double margaritas, but hey why not.

All in all an amusing show....keep the majority of the fans from reproducing, and all should be ok. Oh, and if Simon Le Bon calls, I am totally going out with him.....I don't care that he is old enough to be my dad....way too hot.

Why I Am Going to Join the Circus

Okay I'm sitting here at 5pm and I've done none of my work for school tomorow.

So, what's my life these days.

I am ABD in a graduate program I started almost 10 years ago. I have a job that I hate, working with people that I'd like if I were in different school, teaching students for whom I have rapidly developed a deep contempt.

I am turning into a person I don't recognize, because up until this point in my life I've always been a person who finished the things she started and finished them ahead of time. Now, I do nothing and still feel exhausted at the end of the day.

I used to love teaching and think that I was very good at it. I looked forward to leaving the bastion of elitism where I was trained to work with students who would value their education. But, somehow I've come to this hellhole where the students pay alot of money and don't really do much else. And many of them are only functionally literate and the ones that are only have rudimentary language skills...and they've never heard the word salient and they don't have dictionaries apparently. So, I just don't know what the point of is of trying to teach them about social stratification.

And I know it's just my untreated depression re-emerging to take me down to the depths of unhappiness, but frankly there's nothing I can do about it right now. Because I don't even have the energy to find a psychiatrist, pay them a bunch of money and then stress about how my insurance company has created a reimbursement form sure to make a healthy person sick. And it's not that I can't afford it, but it's like why do I pay for insurance if it never actually covers anything except my low cost birth control pill, which I could skip at this point since I never see my spouse.

So, what am I going to do. I am going to turn off my computer, turn over on my sofa and watch some tv and hope that in a hour or so the fact that I am going to be humilated tomorrow when I have nothing to lecture on in two of my classes and I have a hoard of angry New Jerseyans ready to kill me because I don't have their exams graded (even though mind you they are sure to get better grades if they let me wait until I actually feel like reading the crap they've written) will somehow motivate me to work. Of course, this will likely mean that I won't sleep tonight, but who cares apparently some higher power has decided that I don't deserve a Ph.D., to live near my friends and husband, to have a family of my own, to have a career I can be proud of, to be happy more than 10 minutes a year or to be able to sleep on a regular basis.